


Jealousy is the Disease

by abbeyjewel



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 10:39:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1685360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abbeyjewel/pseuds/abbeyjewel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry sleeps with a woman in order to make Paris jealous. It works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jealousy is the Disease

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yeaka RC (yeaka)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/gifts).



> This is a fix-it ficlet for the Voyager episode The Disease.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek or any of it's characters.

Harry didn’t mean for this to happen. He really didn’t want it to go this far. He was just so jealous and angry. Tom had B’Elanna, and Harry had Tom. But it wasn’t easy for him to share. Harry often felt ignored or pushed aside in favor of B’Elanna. He was willing to put up with it for Tom though. Tom, whom he loved very much. 

He never meant for it to get this far. He just wanted to see if he could make Tom as jealous as Harry got. He didn’t anticipate the bonding he went through with Tal. He didn’t expect Tom to not get jealous for sleeping with her once. He didn’t expect he’d do it again, this time in pain from Tom’s lack of jealousy. He didn’t expect it, but it happened. and now he was miserable. 

When Tal was gone, Harry didn’t take the cure for her bond. He wanted the pain. He couldn’t believe what he’d done, and didn’t think for one second he didn’t deserve it. All he had wanted was for Tom to pay more attention to him. 

Now he was back in his quarters, laying back flat against the bed, and staring up at the ceiling. Misery and pain rushing through him as he tried to sleep. Tal had left earlier that day, and he hadn’t seen Tom since before she was gone. He couldn’t help but think bitterly about how Tom hadn’t even noticed what had happened between Harry and Tal, and how much pain Harry was in now. If only Tom hadn’t ignored him so… 

No, this was his fault, not Tom’s. He couldn’t blame anyone else for his actions. 

Finally, his eyes drifted closed and he was able to get close to falling asleep. Only for his door to chime and wake him completely back up. He sat up, frustrated. “Who is it?” 

“It’s me, Harry. Let me in.” Harry felt ice wash through him at Tom’s voice. He didn’t sound angry, just stern. It would have been better if he was angry. 

“Come in,” he called quietly, not bothering to raise his voice for Tom to hear, but just enough so that the door would open on its own. Tom walked through, but Harry fell back onto his bed, not wanting to look at Tom. Everything hurt too much. Tal, Tom, both people he loved dearly who he couldn’t have for himself. 

“I’m sorry about what happened.” Harry snorted and turned on his side, away from Tom. He was silent for a long moment. “What?” Harry didn’t answer; he couldn’t. He clenched his eyes shut and tried to pretend that everything was alright. The bed dipped and Harry could feel Tom sitting on the bed behind him, his hand resting on Harry’s arm. He wanted to shake it off, but it was the first time Tom had touched him in weeks. 

He didn’t want Tom to be sorry about it. He wanted Tom jealous, upset that Harry had left him for so long. But that was Harry’s own jealousy talking. He didn’t like sharing with B’Elanna. Well, no, that wasn’t exactly accurate. He wouldn’t mind sharing with B’Elanna if only Harry got as much attention as she did. He couldn’t exactly tell Tom that, could he? He hated asking for things; it made him feel like he wasn’t happy with what he had. He wasn’t, but that didn’t mean he had to sound ungrateful. 

“Talk to me, Harry.” He could hear the concern in Tom’s voice. For some reason he couldn’t stand that. He didn’t want to hurt Tom; he just wanted Tom to notice. Sighing, he slowly sat up. He didn’t look up, not wanting to meet Tom’s gaze. He couldn’t, not now. He might break if he did. 

“It’s not her,” he started, staring into his hands. Maybe if he stared hard enough, this whole mess would clean itself up. “It’s you.” 

“Me?” Tom sounded shocked, Harry could almost see it in his mind, but he was quiet for a long moment after Harry nodded in confirmation. 

“I didn’t want her.” His eyes squeezed shut and he didn’t want to continue, but he had to. Maybe things could be fixed. Tom’s hand found his in his lap, and he squeezed it almost encouragingly. “I just wanted you.” 

When he didn’t say anything else, Tom pulled Harry’s hands to his lips and kissed them gently. “You have me.” He said simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Harry tugged his hands away and stood, turning away. 

“No, no I don’t!” He should stop, he shouldn’t make a big deal about this. He wanted what he had already. He didn’t want to lose it, but he couldn’t stop himself from wanting more. Thankfully, Tom didn’t move from the bed, didn’t come up to try and reassure him. Harry was sure he would have shook Tom off, no matter what he wanted. No matter than he just wanted to sink into Tom’s arms after weeks of being without. “You don’t spend any time with me.” He hated the fact that he sounded like a petulant child. “You barely noticed I was gone.” 

“Harry…” He could hear Tom sigh behind him, but he didn’t move from the bed. “I did notice. But I thought you wanted space.” He paused, but only briefly. “I have B’Elanna. I thought you wanted someone else too.” 

Harry shook his head and pressed his forehead against the wall. He stiffened when he heard Tom move to stand behind him. 

“You just want me?” Tom’s voice was so soft and gentle, Harry couldn’t help but shiver. “That’s what this was about?” Harry nodded, but didn’t dare turn around or relax. He didn’t know what he’d do if Tom laughed, or left him. He didn’t know why he had to be so stupid and open up his mouth. “Good.” 

Harry jerked and turned around, finally facing Tom. “Good? What do you mean, _good_?” Tom’s expression was serious, a tight smile on his lips. 

“Good, because I don’t like sharing you. That’s what I mean.” Harry almost glared up at Tom. 

“You didn’t _notice_ and before you didn’t spend any time with me!” Harry almost flinched at his words, but he couldn’t stop now, could he? But did he have to sound so whiny? 

“I did notice,” Tom’s voice was hard, even the tight smile was gone now, “and I found I didn’t like it. As for space,” he paused and sighed. He leaned forward and leaned against the wall, hand over Harry’s shoulder, face inches away. Harry could feel Tom’s breath. “I thought it was only fair to give you the option to have someone else. Now I know I can’t stand the thought.”

He couldn’t relax, not yet, even though he wanted to. He wanted to fall to mush and just let Tom kiss him, just let it all be alright, but he had to ask. He had to make sure. “You want me?” His voice came out smaller than he intended, more hopeful. 

“You idiot,” Tom leaned forward and kissed the side of Harry’s lips. “I can’t let anyone else have you, not now.” Harry shivered and let himself be kissed, properly this time. 

“But… B’Elanna.” Harry almost kicked himself. Wasn’t this enough? Instead, Tom’s fingers ran through his hair gently. Harry’s eyes slipped closed and he felt Tom press against him, hard. 

“I’ve been negligent with you, She’ll understand.” Tom’s lips were pressed against his neck, lightly kissing in apology. “She was upset with me for letting you go.” He kissed gently again, Harry’s knees feeling more and more like water every moment. 

“N-not again?” He gasped softly, pressing up into Tom, unable to resist. 

“Never.” The promise whispered into his ear, making him shiver and moan. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment <3


End file.
